I AM FOODWOMAN.

Is it a bird?! Is it a plane?! Is it a satellite gone awry?! Is it a squirrel on crack?! NO! It's... FOODWOMAN!

*Applause* *Squeals of delight* *Men swooning and fainting* *Tears of joy* *Women offering their babies as presents*

Thank you... thank you... Oh please, that's enough.

*People pull their hair out from overwhelming proximity to her awesomeness*

That's enough really.

Okay, maybe I should explain. No, I don't save food from being dumped into a garbage after picky eaters decide it's not good enough for their golden stomachs. No, I do not save the innocent food from being genetically modified my Doctor Mutationix. No, I do not distribute food to the poor.

What I do, however, is turn to food in times of need.

What? It's a perfectly legit reason to be a superhero!

Is it just me, or does the thought of studying immediately make you feel like you're being abducted by aliens for dissection and experimentation and therefore must depend on the one thing that will protect you? The one thing that will repel those evil book-aliens. The one thing that will make them shrivel up and die like they're eating freaking kryptonite! ...DA DA DUMMMM....

FOOD.

That's right. Every time I have to do anything remotely tedious, I resort to my saviour: FOOD. Ditch the books, forget the exams! Screw them all! You might not graduate if you fail your exams and you might end up living like a pauper on the streets with no money and nothing to your name... that's because education is a b**** that will ditch you if you don't pay her attention. Food, however, is the loyal companion that will always be with you, no matter what! When education breaks your heart, food will nurse your heart to health and show you the joys of living!

So, ditch that ungrateful education and embrace the true love of your life! FOOD.

I want baklava.

New Year in the Arabian Dunes

Salam Alaikum! (That’s a greeting in Arabic).

It’s official… one of the best ways to celebrate New Year’s is in the desert. Last night/this morning was my second New Year in the desert. the first one consisted of a typical desert safari. Ever been on one?

Well, it’s basically a party in the chilly desert at night, in a Bedouin camp. There’s an enclosure surrounded by tents under which there are loads of cushions and really short tables to sit around; there’s a huge dance floor in the centre and many long tables along the sides for the food! Of course, camels are seated in the corner, happily resting and taking a poop while waiting to take the next person to sit on the large cushion strapped on their backs for a short walk on the cold sand. The empty spaces in the enclosure are dotted with a few traditional cooks, making local delicacies like the delicious  and warm syrup covered dumplings that melt in your mouth. 

The party really starts when the belly-dancer arrives. She enchants all those around her with her fluid movements, long hair blowing in the wind and hips swaying to the beautiful rhythms of Arabian music. The dance floor opens up to all, and the rest of the night passes by in the blink of an eye as the music consumes us and we lose ourselves in the sea of pulsating beats among the strangers. The only thing that links us the music that intoxicates out minds. 

This year, however, New Year’s was celebrated in the desert over the flames of a crackling bonfire and the glowing charcoal of a fiery barbecue pit, surrounded by family and friends. Loud music was played from the cars, blankets were spread over the cold sand, jokes were cracked, memories were recalled and reunions were made. We saw the brilliant fireworks show from the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa, and more fireworks from all the cities around us. The biting cold wind was locked out as a bubble of warmth from the flames and comradeship surrounded us. Apple flavoured smoke from the bubbling sheesha (hookah) swirled in intricate tendrils, as if painted in the wind from the brush and palette of a nostalgic Bedouin. The night passed in laughter and dance and we left behind, lingering in the night wind, a memory filled with happiness. 

I wish you all a very Happy New Year… May 2011 be filled with new experiences, love and all the bliss in the world! 

Kul Sana W’antum Tayyibeen. (May every year bring you happiness).