The Direction Convention. Right. No left. No wait... Right!

My mother made a very interesting observation a few days ago. She was asking her Filipina nurse for directions to the metro station when she realised that the ways in which people give directions are so specific to their nationalities. Now that I think about it, she is absolutely right!

The Middle East has an amalgamation of nationalities... Arab (not to mention all the different types of Arabs!), Indian, Pakistani, Filipino, South African, Nepalese, Chinese, Russian, Romanian, British, American, Malaysian... you name it! Naturally, living in such a diverse environment has changed the way people think around here. I realised only recently that, having lived here for most of my life, I'm used to being part of a society where it's perfectly normal to see an a room full of people from completely different backgrounds, to the point where being a room with people of only one nationality feels a bit strange. At the same time, I've realised that while I am accustomed to being part of such a varied society, there are many others who find it implausible that such different people can work, laugh, eat, joke and even just LIVE together in one place!

Now that I know exactly how different my environment is, I have learned to appreciate the differences between those around me. Not too long back, I never really focused on the differences between people of different nationalities living around me... however, now that I'm alert, many beautiful things have begun to shine from within those very people! It's like living in a place where all the hilarious quirks of people of different nationalities are squished together into one big comedic reality show!

Now, back to my mother's story... Here are our observations on the hilarious ways in which people of different nationalities give directions in the Middle East:

Arabs: 
Large gesticulations along with loud, friendly and enthusiastic responses. I mostly hear this: "Seeda seeda seeda! Yasar! Seeeeeda!! Seeeeeeda! Yameen! BAS! BI'DHABT!!" (Translation: "Straight straight straight! Left! Strrraaaaaight! Strrraaaaaaaight! STOP! EXACTLY!")


I know this, because I've been there and I sometimes give directions exactly like this. Other times, I give directions like an Indian (because I've got a lot of Indian blood in me).  


Indians:
Intense concentration on the question asked, and a sudden leap into directions using all the possible Banks, Sales and Promos along the way as landmarks. It goes something like this: "Hmm... Let me see. Oh! OKAY! Go straight and you'll see the 1/2 Dirham store on your right! Keep going straight until you see the Mashreq Bank and go left from there! Then, you'll see the big pink store with a huge "50% OFF" sign in the window! From there, go right and that's it! You're there!"


Have I given directions like these? Guilty. Have I followed directions like these and shopped till I dropped along the way? Happened so many times that I've lost count. 


Filipinos:
They are the most jovial people out here. Always laughing, smiling, joking and eating. That's probably why all their directions involve food joints and restaurants. "Okay... Just walk until you see the Tandoori Chicken Palace and cross the road from there. Then, walk straight until you reach the Asian Wok. From there, go left. You'll see a big mall straight ahead and see the Delhi Darbar. Just walk a little further and you'll see the Meat House. It's right next to the Meat House."


I love Filipinos, but I try my best not to ask them for directions. They always leave me feeling so damn hungry! 


Chinese:
It's all about the technology. 'Nuff said. "Go to the Plug Ins Store and drive until you see Ace Hardware. From there, just go left until you see the Apple Store. That's it." 


American:
I can never understand their directions... Possibly because in the USA, it's really easy to give directions using street names and coordinates since they have the grid system. Out here, you try using street names and people will look at you like you just popped in from Mars. It's something like this:


Taxi driver: "Where to, sir?"
American passenger: "Building number 11, street number 13B, Al Muwaihat road, Abu Dhabi"

What the Taxi driver heard: "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH - BLAH BLAH BLAH - BLAH - Abu Dhabi" 


Yeah... we don't do street names out here unless they're the highway names. If you're American and planning to visit the Middle East, keep your eyes peeled on the road for as many large landmarks as possible... because that's how you'll be giving directions. So, the American Passenger should have said something like this: 


"Abu Dhabi, near the Reef Mall, opposite the Radisson." Easy. 

Living in the Middle East has made me pick up on all these little traits (except for the American road naming... that just doesn't go down with people out here) without even realising it! It's quite possibly the best thing in the world to realise that you live in a diverse community and you've got a little bit of every culture in you. I feel like a real child of the world ;)