It’s a generally understood concept that the GUY always makes the move first and asks the girl out. Now that times are changing, we’re getting a lot of the GIRLS making the moves first… and why not, I say?
Of course, a lot of people don’t see eye to eye on the matter. For example, I once asked a guy out (not for a date) and I think it went pretty well. I don’t regret doing it at all! It wasn’t that hard either… I was freaking out before hand, but somehow, when I actually approached him, I kind of calmed down and managed to pull it off without having a break down, flipping out or releasing bursts of manic laughter in between words and scaring him away with my tennis-ball eyes that felt like they were about to pop out and smack him in the face. It went pretty well.
Now, a lot of girls where I live won’t be able to understand my next step… but I did it anyways. I told my mother. I told her that I asked the guy out. It was shortly after the actual asking out part when I was in the car with my mom and I just… told her. I can just imagine what you’d think my fellow Middle Eastern girls would say:
- “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! She KNOWS that you DATE?!”
(Let me explain the above quote. Most of the girls I know… well, actually, ALL of the girls I know date and have boyfriends without their parents knowing. Well, this is for obvious reasons: It’s against our culture and, of course, all parents get protective. I don’t date either… I just happened to go out with someone this one time and my mother seemed to be cool with it. The question of having a boyfriend still has the same answer for me: “No.” My smarter friends don’t bother asking. They just go with it ;)
- “Did she threaten to marry you off?”
- “Did you get disowned or just thrown out? I got lucky by getting only the latter.”
(Note: the above quotes are just exaggerations. Parents are not murderous or ruthless.)
However, not all mothers are like that! If they are, then they’re like that for a reason. Anyways, I won’t get into that. Basically, my mother is more like a friend. I tell her pretty much everything. Although, the response I got when I told her I asked a guy out was not “Yeah! Atta girl!” or “There’s my brave modern girl!” or even “What?! You went out with a guy?! You’re grounded!” No, it was:
“What?! You asked him out?! You’re supposed to be a cultured girl! He should ask you out!”
She wasn’t even mad about the fact that I went out with a guy (although it wasn't even a date)! She was just mad about the fact that I happened to make the first move. You gotta love my mom. I love being Asian. It’s exciting!
