All Smiles!... Or Not.

I read a very interesting newspaper article a while back. Turns out that according to a study carried out in University of British Columbia, women find brooding men sexier than men who smile all the time; and men find smiling women sexier than those who, well, don't smile.

The men part, I can understand. It's a well known thing that the brooding, reserved hotshots are the ones who make women weak in the knees. Some good examples are Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, the dude from Gone With the Wind, the dude from My Fair Lady, the dude from Funny Face, and the list goes on (don't ask me why I decided to pick all the old movies... they're classics and better than a lot of the over-hormonal rubbish we see nowadays). One really good example that supports this hypothesis can be found in the movie Pretty In Pink. Remember that one? (Also, don't ask me why I'm talking like a grandmother who actually lived in the time of Audrey Hepburn and is hating on today's youth. I guess I'm just a very different teenager...) In Pretty In Pink, the main girl, Andie, goes for the brooding and slightly mysterious Blane rather than Duckie, her awesome, always smiling and dancing (remember the record shop scene? My favourite!) best friend who was in love with her.

You can guess which one this is. 

There are however exceptions... Sometimes the girl might find the brooding guy sexy but will eventually go with the guy who makes her laugh. I'd do that. Most of the guys I've had huge crushes on are hilarious! The other, more quiet ones are hot, but I got tired of them pretty quickly.

The study about women has left me a little confused. I completely understand why men would find smiling women more attractive, but what I don't understand is why teenage girls STILL choose to give up their pretty smiles for the weird pouts that they always choose to do in photographs??? Wide bright smiles are great, half smiles are cute too, no smile is a little sad but a pout is just... weird. I mean, if you pout once in a while, that's great. But IN EVERY SINGLE PICTURE? I mean, don't their lips hurt after a while?? It's like they're constantly in kiss-mode! I don't mean to hate on anybody who does this... I just find it a little strange that you would want to hide your smiles! Show the world that you're happy! Smile! Be confident!

I know some girls who pout in all their pictures because they want to attract the guys. Well, nothing attracts a guy more than confidence and positivity; and now, this study proves it! *Wink*

Social Retardation

Picture this: you're out with your friends and you're having a good time until suddenly, you spot another friend of yours (who is unknown to the group you are hanging out with at the moment) and reluctantly lock eyes with him/her. Suddenly you find yourself propelled into a conundrum of meaningless verbal exchange, often accompanied by air kissing and/or fitful hugging, as if to relieve each other of hazelnuts stuck in your throats by slapping each other on the back. And then the lovely pleasantries ensue:

"Oh my gosh, (your name)? Is that you?"

"(His/her name)? HI!"

*Delighted squeals* *Dramatized enthusiasm*

"HOW ARE YOU?!"

"I'M AWESOME! HOW ARE YOU!"

"OMIGOD! I'M TOTALLY RAD!"

Then you realise just how unenthusiastic you really are to see this person because you actually had to stoop to the level of expressing yourself with "totally rad". And yet, you can't really do much except keep on the "I give a ****" facade. Eventually, it all becomes too much and your face contorts into a gargoyle-like image before finally cracking under the pressure. Kind of like this guy:

(Kudos to Sheldon Cooper)

Needless to say, this exhausting drama is enough to make you vow to stay at home forever and turn into the next Miss Havisham. At least living in a wedding dress is more inviting than having your face cracked.

Note to self: Next time I go out, I must carry an emergency sandwich bag for taking care of unprecedented stomach roller coasters, disposing garbage to remain green, and, of course, covering my face in case I get launched into a situation as illustrated above. Caution: the sandwich bag may only be used for one purpose at a time, otherwise, things could get slightly... messy. 

Skater Boi of Arabia.

I went for a lovely outing today with a few of my friends. We went to a really popular mall out here where pretty much all of the teenage population can be found hanging out on weekends. One of the main attractions of the place (it has MANY) is the skating rink. Now, this rink is no joke. It's massive, it's fancy, it holds "disco" sessions and it's pretty much always full on weekends. Usually, I go there with my best friend, Violet, just to hang out and reminisce the days when we used to take figure skating classes together (yes, I used to learn figure skating. I got pretty good too, until I stopped in the sixth grade and never went back to it for some odd reason...).

I also like going to the top floor of the mall, watching the rink from above and just observing the skaters during "disco" sessions. These sessions don't actually play disco music per say; they usually play the latest hip-hop and dance hits. The reason I love these sessions is that there are always a few guys in the rink who really know how to skate to the music... like REALLY skate to the music. Before watching the skaters in this ice-rink, I always assumed that figure skating was the only type of ice-dancing. Then, after watching these guys, I was completely taken by their amazing hip-hop dancing ON THE ICE. They wear hockey skates instead of figure-skating skates, enabling them to move really smoothly and pop to the music in fluid motions.

I could actually stand there all day just to watch those guys skate. They dance on ice like it's as simple as breathing air... hip hop, break dance and stunts. I even saw some of them doing the traditional Arabic
"debkeh" on the ice today! How cool is that?! Surprisingly enough, the only guys I see skating like this are the Arab guys. I would have expected them to think of skating as too "sissy"... but ironically, they're the ones who rule the ice! Some of them aren't too bad looking either, if you know what I mean *wink wink*.

If you're ever in the Middle East, look out for a skating rink and watch out for the skater-bois. They're hard to miss and difficult to ignore! You know what, one day I'll just walk up to one of them and ask them to teach me to dance like them! Yeah! I can be bold! Maybe. I think.

Oh whatever. Bois be skatin'.

Arabic... A Whole Bunch of Languages.

Arabic is a strange language... It's beautiful, rather poetic, VERY difficult, but strange. There are many different countries in the Middle East and ALL of them have a different way of talking Arabic. It's not the accent, but rather the dialect that differs.

If we take English as an example, a clear difference in accent can be seen between Americans and the English.

Intended Phrase: "I don't think that's a good idea."
Southern American: "Aaah down't thaenk thaet's a good aahdeeuh."
Englishman/woman: "Eye don' think tha's a güd eyedea"

However, Americans and English people also use different dialects of English slang.

Intended phrase: "This is absolutely amazing!"
American: "Yo, this is off da heazy!"
Englishman/woman: "Tha' is way sick!"

I remember when my cousin from London heard that we'd be taking him to an indoor ski resort, he remarked with "Tha' is sick!" and I got a little bit offended. Upon asking him what exactly was so "Sick" about an indoor ski resort, his mother explained that it was meant to be a compliment. Oh. My bad.

Similarly, in the Middle East, Arabs of different nationalities speak in different ways. This is primarily why I began losing touch with Arabic... simply because I couldn't understand a lot of what others said and they found my language ridiculous.

Here are the different ways in which you can say "How are you" in Arabic:

Proper Arabic: "Kayfa haaluki" or "Kayfa haalak" (f/m)
Iraq: "Shlonich!" (Literally means "What's your colour?")
Lebanon: "Keefekk!"
Yemen: "Kefik!"
Egypt: "Izzayyik?"
Other: "Shakhbarak?" or "Shakhbarik?" (m/f)

How to say "I'm fine":

"Kwayyis" or "Kwayyisa" (m/f)
"Tamam"
"Haalee" (Literally means "sweet")
"Murtaah" (Literally means "relaxed")
"Imneeh"
"B'khair"

It all gets so confusing!! I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH IT! AAARGH!

Snakes on a Plane: Arabified

I've known my best friend, let's call her Violet (just for the fun of it), for around 10 years now. During those ten years, we're done a whole bunch of crazy, zany and downright weird stuff. This was one of them.

Back in the eighth grade, when quirks were peaking, moods were swinging and hormones were raging (that sounds a bit weird...) we ended up translating a song one lovely afternoon during break at school. We picked a song from a band we happened to be obsessing over and a language that frustrated us and made us laugh at the same time. Cobra Starship's Snakes on a Plane into Arabic. The results were beyond awesome... It. Was. Hilarious. Read below for the translation. Sing it out loud... it's even funnier *GRIN*.

Times are strange
We got a free upgrade for
snakes on a plane.
F--- em, I don't care.
Pop the cheap champagne,
we're going down in flames, hey.

Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive.
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the venom in their eyes.
Goodbye.


Al awqat ghareeba
Hassalna tarqeea majaniyya
Lil-tha3abeen 3ala attayara,
Yil3anhom, shu bkhasnee,
Ifta7 al-shambanya arrakhees
'I7na nazleen binnar, AIWA!


Oh! Ana radhiya lo, 
Yalla geebee! 

Oh! Ana radhiya lo, 

Yalla geebee! 

Oh! Ana radhiya lo, 

Yalla geebee! 

Oh! Ana radhiya lo, 

Yalla geebee! 

Businee bye bye!!

Ya 3asal, ana bakhruj hayy,

Businee bye bye!!

Ana b'shoof al-samm b'3ainik!

Ma3assalama!

For those who can actually understand what I've written, I know it's a mixture of dialects. It's because my best friend and I are from different parts of the Middle East. We found it funny as hell... I might even find a video of us singing it. That would be epic. 

Okay... back to chemistry revision. 

The Academy Is... Cobra Starship and Gym Class Heroes. 

Study Motivation.

So... I've a hit a bit of a low. I have four exams left this week and I REALLY am not in the mood to study. Therefore, I shall Tweet or Blog every time I finish a significant amount of studying!

I remember last year when my method of study motivation was to French manicure one finger nail for every chapter I studied. See?! CREATIVE STUDY! >=D

I AM FOODWOMAN.

Is it a bird?! Is it a plane?! Is it a satellite gone awry?! Is it a squirrel on crack?! NO! It's... FOODWOMAN!

*Applause* *Squeals of delight* *Men swooning and fainting* *Tears of joy* *Women offering their babies as presents*

Thank you... thank you... Oh please, that's enough.

*People pull their hair out from overwhelming proximity to her awesomeness*

That's enough really.

Okay, maybe I should explain. No, I don't save food from being dumped into a garbage after picky eaters decide it's not good enough for their golden stomachs. No, I do not save the innocent food from being genetically modified my Doctor Mutationix. No, I do not distribute food to the poor.

What I do, however, is turn to food in times of need.

What? It's a perfectly legit reason to be a superhero!

Is it just me, or does the thought of studying immediately make you feel like you're being abducted by aliens for dissection and experimentation and therefore must depend on the one thing that will protect you? The one thing that will repel those evil book-aliens. The one thing that will make them shrivel up and die like they're eating freaking kryptonite! ...DA DA DUMMMM....

FOOD.

That's right. Every time I have to do anything remotely tedious, I resort to my saviour: FOOD. Ditch the books, forget the exams! Screw them all! You might not graduate if you fail your exams and you might end up living like a pauper on the streets with no money and nothing to your name... that's because education is a b**** that will ditch you if you don't pay her attention. Food, however, is the loyal companion that will always be with you, no matter what! When education breaks your heart, food will nurse your heart to health and show you the joys of living!

So, ditch that ungrateful education and embrace the true love of your life! FOOD.

I want baklava.

Twittersphere!

Aloha!
That Middle Eastern Chick is now flying in the Twittersphere! Follow me for... well... Tweets.

Hunk of Beef vs Twinkle Toes

I just watched a video that made me feel like a hunk of beef. It's not everyday that you end up feeling like that...

I watched Boyanka Angelova's 2008 routine and literally felt like I was a human gone wrong. I mean, if humans have the ability to move like her, then something must be wrong with the rest of us who can't! It must be a deficiency disease... Flexilacktoesis (see if you can figure that one out).

I watched her move, utterly mesmerized by the way she carried herself (and that ball!) with the ease of a person wading through a baby's paddle-pool. As much as I felt elated by the grace and beauty of her routine, I also felt downright terrible for myself. Ugh... self pity is such a tedious thing. I literally felt like a great big hunk of beef with fat globules squelching at my sides and oil dripping down my meaty flesh. Ew. I just disgusted myself.

Of course, things aren't nearly as bad as we perceive them to be. I suppose my feeling of beefiness at this point will just vanish after a dose of reassurance and self-confidence. Thus, we have the vicious cycle of self-pity and... well... something less than self-pity.

Here's the video... the frying pan of my beefiness:

I. R. Embarrassed

While I really shouldn't be saying this... it's very true. I am kind of embarrassed by some of the boys in a certain institution that I happen to be a part of. 

My friends and I went for an education fair at the Commercial Centre out here and we happened to spot a group of boys from the institution we're all a part of. We don't know most of them too well, since we're separated into a girls' section and a boys' section. Just then, we also noticed another group of teens from another institution. They were wearing formal clothes (unlike us who were in uniforms). Now the boys from the latter group happened to be rather, well, dashing. Some of them were even more than just dashing (wink wink). The boys from the former group, however, were... er... how can I put this... far from the furthest thing from dashing. 

Anyways. So, my friends and I went about our work and didn't pay either group much attention until I, having stopped at a stall where I had a clear view of a small group of boys from my institution and a small group of boys from the other institution, began to notice something that mortified me. These were my observations:

Dashing boys:

-Well dressed, polished and positively delectable in rolled up shirt sleeves and neck ties. 

-Actively engaged in conversation with the educational representatives. 

-Polite and hushed. 

-Weakened knees with their smiles. 

Boys from my institution:          

-Scruffily dressed with rather unkempt appearances.

-Didn't really care about what was going on around them.   

-Loud and obnoxious.

-Laughed like hyenas.       

Honestly, it just reminded me of something like this:

THIS...

V/S

THIS...

It was positively mortifying. Our uniforms betrayed us. Like a fart in a morgue. 

Ah well... 

Go Green! Rooh Akhdar!

Just a quick word before I write the main post... "Rooh Akhdar" is Go Green in Arabic! There's your Arabic vocab for the day.

I found this pretty awesome button from a friend's website and decided to check it out. Turns out that all the bloggers out there have a chance at making their carbon footprints a little smaller. For all the blogs that post their button, a tree will be planted in a forest that needs reforestation. For now it seems to be the Plumas National Forest.

I think this is pretty brilliant idea! If we're all going to ignore the fact that technology is contributing to natural deterioration, then we might as well try to counter it by planting trees. At least, it's a step! If you want to give this a shot as well, click on the green button on my footer and GO GREEN!

http://www.kaufda.de/umwelt/carbon-neutral/

I'm a WHAT Now?!

So, er, interesting turn of events.

I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life (career-wise) and have been strongly leaning towards law or international relations. Naturally, I consulted my family and asked them what they thought. They responded in the usual way: supporting, advising, etc.

If there's one person in my family who comes up with the wackiest (and usually niftiest) ideas, it's my uncle. He's like the male-Lorelei of my family... related but awesome and cool. He usually comes up with "brilliant" new career paths for me... clock-maker, actress, director, etc... However, nothing will ever beat the suggestion he made yesterday.

He said that he had a new career path for me. I asked what it was. He responded by telling me to watch Hannah. I had no idea what Hannah's storyline was, so I Googled it.

Here's what my facial transition was like:

AN ASSASSIN. THAT'S my career path?!

Although I probably wasn't dying as much as Marjane here. (Kudos to Marjane Satrapi for that awesome graphic novel, by the way).

I pointed out to my dear uncle that he probably wouldn't know I was in secret service even if I did end up there. However, despite my initial skepticism, it WOULD be pretty cool to be all secret and spy-like. Every girl's sassy-dream-come-true. 

Arabenglish

It's a fairly common thing nowadays to be in an Arab country and still not hear a word of Arabic in some places. I, as a teenager, can confirm that most of the time, even those teens who DO speak Arabic hardly ever converse in Arabic. I do however think that this probably applies more in the UAE than in many other Arab countries merely because of the fact that the backgrounds of people out here are so diverse.

I go to a school in this country and in that tiny community itself there are probably over 100 nationalities. Last year, a teacher conducted a survey to see how many languages were spoken in grade 10. In GRADE 10 ALONE, she found that over 40 languages were spoken! So, naturally, it comes as no surprise that the primary language for communication out here among the youth is English. 

However, despite the prevalence of English, there have been a few tweaks that the Arab teens of today have made in order to keep their roots (as much as they can, that is...) 

One such genius tweak is the development of what I like to call Arabenglish. It's basically typing in Arabic using Roman script and Arabic numbers. If you're friends with an Arab person (especially a tech-savvy one), then you'll have probably already come across Arabenglish. 

Here's an example: 

Salam 3laikum. Keef 7alkum? Fahmeen shay2? 

I just greeted you and asked you how you were and whether you could understand what I was writing. The numbers in the writing represent Arabic phonetics that can't be written in Roman script. The number 3 represents the throaty sound that is made ("aa") while squeezing muscles around your vocal chord (I have no idea if there are muscles there... this is all pseudo science). 

The number 7 is for the "h" sound made from the throat, as if you're Harry trying to speak Parseltongue. Try it!

So, you see, we Arab kids might be "deviating from our culture" (as my grandmother and mother like to point out whenever I speak to my Iraqi best friend in English, despite the fact that we both speak Arabic), but we still use creative ways to keep it alive ;) 

That Middle Eastern Social Butterfly

That Middle Eastern Chick is now on Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/That-Middle-Eastern-Chick/116385515110149

I'll add an FB page button on the blog soon... just too lazy to do it now.

Bless the Yemenis.

I am sitting on the dining table right now, typing this post and enjoying what I truly believe is one of Yemen's finest accomplishments.

I was studying all day (kind of...) and decided that I'd make up for all those hours when I decided to take a "break" by staying up late and studying some more. So, I turned to my one companion who I knew would help me through this adventure. And that companion is the ancient, the classy, the delectable and the very Yemeni... COFFEE! It's not that coffee suddenly turns me into a very OhMiGoshI'mSoHyperThatI'mBouncingOffTheWalls person... it's just gives me the tiny boost that I need. Although I wish it had more of an effect on me (like, maybe turn me into more of an OhMiGoshI'mSoHyperThatI'mBouncingOffTheWalls person), I am still grateful for the help it does manage to give me during my crazy study periods.

Coffee, qahwa, 2ahwa, cafe, kaffei, kava or koohii or whatever it is you want to call this drink... it's like heaven in a cup. Especially for all the procrastinators (cough*me*cough) out there who just can't help but leave all their studying for the very last minute.

I don't drink coffee very regularly... but when I do, I like to get creative. Here's how I made it today:

Name: BEER MUG ALL-NIGHTER (This might be the coffee talking...)

Equipment: 
-Smoothie blender
-Beer mug (Durr. Again... probably the coffee talking)
-Straw

Ingredients: 
-Milk (I go for skimmed)
-Ice Cubes
-Ground coffee in a flavour of your choice
-Creamer
-Sugar
-Raisins
-Almonds
-Walnuts
-Sugar
-Chocolate powder

Method: 

You have two options:

1) Chuck it all in a blender and go crazy.

OR

1) Pour in the blender: milk, ice cubes, coffee creamer, coffee, pinch of sugar, raisins, walnuts and almonds.
2) Blend.
3) Pour into the beer mug and sprinkle chocolate powder on top.

I think the coffee just kicked in...