Is it a bird?! Is it a plane?! Is it a satellite gone awry?! Is it a squirrel on crack?! NO! It's... FOODWOMAN!
*Applause* *Squeals of delight* *Men swooning and fainting* *Tears of joy* *Women offering their babies as presents*
Thank you... thank you... Oh please, that's enough.
*People pull their hair out from overwhelming proximity to her awesomeness*
That's enough really.
Okay, maybe I should explain. No, I don't save food from being dumped into a garbage after picky eaters decide it's not good enough for their golden stomachs. No, I do not save the innocent food from being genetically modified my Doctor Mutationix. No, I do not distribute food to the poor.
What I do, however, is turn to food in times of need.
What? It's a perfectly legit reason to be a superhero!
Is it just me, or does the thought of studying immediately make you feel like you're being abducted by aliens for dissection and experimentation and therefore must depend on the one thing that will protect you? The one thing that will repel those evil book-aliens. The one thing that will make them shrivel up and die like they're eating freaking kryptonite! ...DA DA DUMMMM....
FOOD.
That's right. Every time I have to do anything remotely tedious, I resort to my saviour: FOOD. Ditch the books, forget the exams! Screw them all! You might not graduate if you fail your exams and you might end up living like a pauper on the streets with no money and nothing to your name... that's because education is a b**** that will ditch you if you don't pay her attention. Food, however, is the loyal companion that will always be with you, no matter what! When education breaks your heart, food will nurse your heart to health and show you the joys of living!
So, ditch that ungrateful education and embrace the true love of your life! FOOD.
I want baklava.
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