Goin' All Yogi On The World

So, Middle Eastern Chick has been doing something quite different from her usual pass-times... she has been taking yoga classes. No no, not the sort of yoga that involves stuff like Downward Dog, Cat Pose, Mountain Pose and all that... It's the sort that involves sitting in one place for hours and breathing. That's it. Just breathing. Even writing it makes Middle Eastern Chick all jittery... She likes movement. She likes adventure. She. Wants. ACTION.

So, sitting in one place and just breathing isn't exactly her cup of tea. Or so she thought. Turns out this breathing stuff is actually pretty useful. Being a bit of a skeptic when it comes to stuff like meditation, Middle Eastern Chick started this program more for the raw-food detox that it provided (hey, every girl wants to lose just a little more weight...) However, after meditating for a while, Middle Eastern Chick realised that, hey, maybe this stuff ain't so bad after all! Sure, she hasn't experienced full-on Nirvana or anything of that sort... but the peace and quiet that comes from meditation sure gives some time for thought. Some serious, deep, soulful and life-altering though.

Eyes closed. Body relaxed. Here's what goes through Middle Eastern Chick's mind:


Okay. Here I am. This position is weird. Shh! I need to relax. Just relax. Yes... Let go... Think nothing... Leave my body... Shhhhhh....


...


Just kidding. I'm still here. Am I doing this right? 


My watch is ticking too loudly. It needs to shut up. Or maybe it could hypnotize me. Yeah! Okay, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13... wait, am I at 13 or 14? Oh screw it. 


...


When is this getting over? 


...


I'm hungry. I want a sandwich. A Joey Tribbiani sandwich. With salami and mustard... Oh wait, I'm not supposed to eat meat. So, no salami. What the heck is a salami buddy? Mental note: ask mom what a salami buddy is. 


...


Okay, I lost myself for a minute. Was that it? Did I just PROPERLY meditate? *Mental squeal* Cool!


...


I really need to stop. Okay. Focus. Breeeeeathhhee..... Slowwlyyy.... Innn... Ouuutt.... Iiiiinnnnn.... Ouuuutttt.... 

Okay, the thoughts are usually deeper than this. Honestly. No really. Valuable lesson learned: Don't meditate while you're hungry. Salami will haunt your Nirvana and harsh your mellow.