Every place has a hangout. Not just any old hangout, but literally a place where you can go at ANY time of the day and find a bunch of teens/young adults partying away or just… hanging out. Out here, there are many such places, but there’s only one (in my opinion) where you can go and find drama at every nook and cranny! It’s called Al Qasba (translated: The Canal).
I hear many stories about it… Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there, but I never got sucked into the exciting world of the teenage Arab underdogs. Partially because I never went there with friends (if you’re alone, it’s wiser to stay away. Having friends from the inner-circles is always helpful) and also partially because… well… I’ve always gone there with either my mom or my grandmother. That’s like blasting a siren in the faces of the young toilers: “STAY AWAY!” So basically, it’s safe to say that I’m not part of any exciting underdog pack at Qasba. That’s where a LOT of the drama happens. However, that doesn’t mean I’m any further away from the drama itself. I get a lot of updates from different sources… juicy updates that I myself, being an Arab girl, find shocking.
Turns out the world of the Middle Eastern teenagers is no different to that of teenagers everywhere else in the world. Of course, a lot of people immediately assume that Teenager+Middle East=Underprivileged Sob Stories. To all those people, I’d like to just let you know that we live just like everybody else. No, we do not ride camels on a daily basis. No, we do not live in tents. No, the girls do not stay locked up indoors out of the public eye. In fact, a lot of the girls out here are just normal girls… and some might just be more promiscuous than those back in the West. ;)
That brings me back to Qasba. Well, I’m going there tonight (once again, with my family… so don’t get too excited) and I’ll be sure to watch out for some action. It’s fairly easy to spot the packs in question… They seem to have an unwritten rule about their dress-code- especially the boys. It’s almost as if they all- all the male teens of the UAE- decided to gather at a convention and actually decide the uniform attire of a typical Arab B-Boy. I can just imagine the debates…
B-Boy 1:We need something that makes a statement…
B-Boy 2: Something that will make people notice us… especially the chicks.
B-Boy 1: Brothers! We must put our efforts together and think!
B-Boy 3: OOH! How about faux-hawks!
B-Boy 1: Hmm… Maybe…
B-Boy 2: NO NO! How about NEON PANTS!
B-Boy 1: Even better… NEON SKINNIES! With tight shirts! *Squeals*
B-Boy 4: But I want permanent sun-glasses!
B-Boy 5: I think our signature style should involve an unlimited display of our boxer booties.
B-Boy 1: Alright alright! All your suggestions are valid… SO, we’ll use it all!
B-Boys: YEAH! We’re pimpin’ dawg!
I just wish they could have hired some style-gurus at the convention… Their choice is NOT making the cut. I’m not being harsh… honestly. I’m just stating a GIRL’S opinion; after all, this was intended to appeal to the opposite gender. The thing is, some girls might like the look of a hot guy with an exaggerated swagger, sunglasses (at night), skin tight skinny jeans of the most ostentatious colour (e.g: neon green) halfway down their asses, only held up by a belt, and displaying supposedly classy boxers with playboy ears printed on them, skin tight tee that clashes horribly (e.g: neon pink), clown shoes (as I like to call them… but I think they’re usually Vans) in the most bizarre shades, palm trees on their heads (this is what I call it when a guy wants to have long hair AND a faux-hawk… NOT pretty) and, of course, random pieces of jewellery. Hey, if some girls find that becoming, you go ahead girl… Whatever floats your boats.
I, however, see it like this:
A guy
a)with an exaggerated swagger… like a freaking amoeba about to topple over
b)walking in darkness wearing sunglasses… Uh… No comment. He might just be blind.
c)donning a pair of skinnies so tight that I sometimes wonder where they stash the junk- if you know what I mean. They’re bright enough to blind the poor soul that looks at them directly and lowered down to pretty much below their asses, displaying boxer-clad booties that I REALLY do not want to look at. Look, if I wanted to see your underwear, I’d pants you. Do not force me to bear witness to your partial mooning!
d)wearing clown-shoes with palm-trees added to further upset his balance.
e)with badly mis-matched jewellery- like a random skull earring or something.
=Poor Confuzzled Soul.
I don’t do a double take because I find it oh-so-hot… no, I do a double take because I’m shit-scared that they’ll probably topple over any second- due to all the conflicting forces acting upon them- and crash into me like a neon snowball! Eventually, the initial fear gets replaced with an unimaginably strong urge to just pull the belt that holds it all together. I’m just evil like that. >=D
Basically, boys of the Middle East, please hold another convention to discuss damage control (all the poor girls who have lost hope in today’s youth. Oh, and the people who went blind) and, of course, come up with an outfit that does not make us want to pants you in public. Oh, and lose the sunglasses.
Wow. Rant…
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